Decades of Dreams - The Legacy of my Longing

2/7/84: Escorts and Showers

1) Tiny memory of walking next to Nick (co-worker, newspaper editor) and having him extend his arm to me, as an escort would. I say something like: "Do you want me to take your arm?"

2) I am at my mother's house (although it is a new setting I believe it is hers) and I am waiting for Michael H. to arrive. I want a shower, and I am spending many minutes trying to figure out if I should leave the front door unlocked for him while I shower. I think to myself that maybe he would join me in the shower.

Parents' Plane Goes Up in a Puff (early childhood)

My earliest recallable, repeating dream:

 I am standing on a dirt patch of land in Palms Park, the park next to the home I occupied from age 3 to 13.

I look up into the air to watch a plane that carried both of my parents evaporate and disintegrate into a puff of smoke.

I was left in despair and terror, the abandoned, grieving, panic-stricken, orphan child.

 While I'm tempted to say: "This dreams speaks for itself", 45 years or so after first experiencing it, I'm even more tempted to say: "This dreams speaks for everything else that will now follow."